Covada
by storys217ph
Summary: "Love is, as never as ferocious as when you think it's gonna leave you. " – Pansy/Hermione
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 1 - Hermione's POV**

We spent the morning tending to Hagrid's creatures, uprooting weeds and watering the pumpkin patch. He left us with these chores in his absence.

And thus, myself Harry and Ron walk back to the castle gate passing by a playful bunch on a sunny day. I feel pleasantly tired, in a state of reverie, awaiting a certain hour later in the evening. And there's Pansy walking by just when I thought of her and our due rendezvous.

She's got her one strap bag over her shoulder and gives me a serious, but unreadable look. I can't help but to respond with a discrete smile, mindful of my friends beside me. I'm aware it would upset her if anyone noticed, and I try to follow the rules.

Just as we look at each other a red flash hits Pansy and slams her into the castle wall. Immediately I drop my bag and a bucket of vegetables from the other hand and rush over to her.

She's clearly dazed, but already getting up. I grab her, scuffling trough her hair for signs of blood. "Are you hurt?"

I get pushed away at once. "Get away mudblood! What the hell?!" She snaps staring me down.

I realize I just made a big mistake and overreacted. "Sorry." I whisper quietly and turn my attention to the group of 2nd year's duelling. It's from their direction that this stray hex came from. As a perfect I show no mercy and deal negative points for pretty much every house.

They disperse rather fast, urged away by my scolding, and Pansy walks off unnoticeably to wherever she was heading. I'm left with Harry and Ron as they join me.

"Well, that was a bit harsh." Ron says, commenting on my reaction towards the young ones.

"They earned it! Let's go!" I snap, still fuming with rage.

Though my friends walk silently beside me, I sense a tension in the air. So I speak first. "They just can't act like that! Kids or not, they can still injure someone, even if a Slytherin, it's still not alright."

Harry and Ron nod in agreement, but it seems rather forced. I'm not sure I managed to divert their attention from the real issue, which is me and Pansy.

I don't know how it all started, but I'm certain I care too much for her by now. Evident by what just happened, seeing her hurt really scared me. Though my reaction was unnecessary and she'll be pissed off about it for sure.

"Hermione!" I hear someone call me and I snap out of it. I realize the last class is over and I'm left sitting here in an empty classroom.

"Let's go Hermione!" Harry and Ron howl from the door.

"Right! I'll be right there." I pick up my stuff and rush to catch up.

"You've been so absent lately. What's going on?" Ron prods.

"Nothing… just got a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" Harry joins in.

"The usual, schoolwork and tests, I'm worried about passing Potions." I lie with the most concerned expression I can muster, but I can tell they didn't buy it so I think up an excuse. "I gotta get something from the library, see you guys later." I run off behind the corner than up the swirling staircase, way up to the old astronomy tower.

I'm so glad I found this abandoned classroom. I always get here a bit early and take a moment to look around. This place means so much to me. It's where we've been meeting for the past few months, and where I've come to find release from the restraining nature of the world.

I'm sure Pansy feels the same way about it. I love every dusty book on the circular bookshelf that goes all around this room. There's a big bronze solar system model in the middle that I enjoy spinning.

I knock it off after a while and lie down on the raggedy red couch in the corner and open up the large window with a flick of a wand. The fresh afternoon air blows in and reveals a great view of the sky.

I can't help but to doze off for a while and when I open my eyes the sky is a darker shade of blue, and the moon is slowly fading in.

I look down on myself to see I'm still wearing my coarse grey sweater and jeans, an outfit I reserve solely for yard work. The day has been so crazy that I hadn't the time to change. Good thing that the professors were considerate about it.

I jump up when Pansy walks in, and walk to meet her in the middle of the round tower room. She locks the door with a spell and proceeds towards me.

I smile at her serious stare which doesn't at all improve her mood.

She drops her bag on the step that separates the lower area in the middle, and without a warning she pushes me back into the solar model. "What the hell was that!?" She snaps. "I told you no signs of affection in public!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." I raise my hands defensively. "I was just worried about you. It looked to me like you were injured."

"Oh shut up! It was noting." She crosses her arms disdainfully.

"I'm sorry." I repeat.

"I'm not the girl in this relationship! I can take care of myself, alright!?"

Hearing that brings a smile to my face again. "So you do admit we're in a relationship?" I tease.

"Of sorts… but not like you think, and not for long if you pull this shit again." She threatens poking me with her index finger.

"Alright, I'll be careful next time, just relax."

"Don't tell me what to do." She starts pushing me back as I walk backwards all the way to the old red couch. When we reach it she slams me down on my back.

"Hey!" I protest, but with a smirk. I do like it when she gets a bit aggressive. Aggravating her may just be worth it.

She unbuttons my jeans before stopping.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

She looks at me top to bottom. "What the hell are you wearing?! You look like a raggedy homeless witch."

"These are my work clothes. I hadn't the time to…"

"Work? What work?"

"We were just helping out Hagrid…"

"Forget I asked!" She stops me weaving a hand and helps me pull the heavy sweater over my head."

We make love, more passionate than usual. When we're done, we're both sweaty and exhausted. I lay on my back and Pansy lays atop of me and rests her head on my shoulder. Lucky for me the couch is too narrow for two people to lie beside each other.

"That was pretty amazing." I say, running my fingers trough her silky black hair.

"Yea." She says lazily, in a way that's not at all reassuring.

She usually finds words superfluous beyond this point, we're usually quiet for a while, but I have an unbearable itch to tell her a few things. "Pansy?"

"What?" She drones, already annoyed that I'm disturbing the silence.

"I wanted to tell you about today…" I hesitate, giving her enough time to place a hand over my mouth, which I move away to continue. "The way I reacted was…"

"Yea, yea, you don't have to apologise again. Just think before you act next time."

"No! I don't mean to apologise." I snap getting a bit cross, which is the only way I can get a word in with her. "I mean to say that it really hurt me to see you hurt. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." I manage to finish, frowning, and thinking that sounded lame, and that she'll just shut me up again.

Surprisingly she stays quiet and still, as if she's actually thinking about something I said. I don't know weather to take it as a good sign though.

She gets on her elbows to look me in the eye. "What do you mean by that?" She asks, piercing me with those cold blue eyes.

I know it wouldn't be as simple as just saying I love you. Not with her. I knew I'd have to explain it somehow, so I proceed. "All I know is that if something were to happen to you, I'd do anything to help you."

"And what if you…" She pauses and looks away. "…couldn't help me?"

I'm really puzzled by that question, though my answer is clear. "I'd be really sad. In fact I'd be miserable." I say and look away at this point, unable to stand her gaze now. It's like she can see trough me and everything I say sounds cliché, though it's all true. "I don't think I could go on without you, I realized that today, there just wouldn't be any point. What do you call that?" I ask her.

She smirks, sensing what I'm trying to utter. "I call it protecting your own fantasy."

"Oh come on! There's a word people use."

"Love? You know I don't believe in that bullshit."

"Yea, so you claim." I sourly confirm.

"Get real Granger, we're just useful to each other for the time being. Love is only an ill-conceived fantasy of personality including an another, a habit or a use, but temporally bound and yielding…"

"Yielding to what?"

"To higher laws, like gravity, existence…" She makes a pause reaching for my crotch. "…and fucking." She says, and I swat off her hand.

"You can't seriously believe that!"

"I do. I'm sure my parents "loved" each other once, for all the good that it brought me." She drones sarcastically.

"Why are you always so negative?"

"I'm just realistic. I can see you're one of those people who need such fantasies for sustenance. I'm sure you'll love to death anyone you eventually end up with."

"What do you mean?!" I get a bit cross again.

"Just what I said." She gets off me to leave.

I grab her wrist and pull her back down. "I aim to end up with you." I say, seriously hurt that she didn't count herself with me in the future.

"Is that so?" She retorts as if I just challenged her to a staring contest.

"Yes." I confirm without blinking.

She stares into my eyes, searching for doubt, or perhaps giving me time to reconsider, but when neither occurs she smirks, the smug way you'd smirk at a child for its naiveté. "Get real Granger!"

"I really wish you'd call me Hermione."

"I like Granger, it fits you. Besides I don't wanna blurt out your name somewhere I'm not supposed to. You should call me Parkinson too." She says and puts her head back down on my shoulder.

"I don't like Parkinson at all."

"You and me both." She says absent-mindedly coiling a strand of my hair around her finger.

"No, I just mean, I prefer your name." I explain.

"Aha…" She responds dozing off.

"Granger…" She calls out after a few silent moments.

"Yea?"

"Do you think there's a god or some sort of a supreme being?"

"Hmm… I just don't know."

"I like that answer, but if you had to guess, what would you say happens after death?"

"Again with this talk of death, it's like you're obsessed with it!" I snap.

"Indulge me please."

I guess I have to when she asked me so nicely. At least we're talking for a change, and I guess I could try to make it more cheerful. "If I had to guess, I'd say there's a big castle in the clouds where everyone's happy."

"Very funny." She drones sarcastically. "Here's what I think. The creator is the created, one fractal and endless entity. Doomed to exist forever, but in war with itself, and suffering under the rules it set. Stretched to contrast, and unaware. Shattered in tiny pieces, but waiting to implode again. Implode and explode, an entire universe like a beating of a heart." She makes a hand gesture staring blankly into space.

"A heart stops."

"And there lies our hope." She says lazily.

"Well…" I begin unable to continue. That was certainly too much at once for me. "…sounds jolly." I sarcastically conclude now that she all but ruined my mood. "I say whatever. Life is good when I'm in love."

"Again with this love, I told you I don't buy it. If you want love find some other girl."

"But I don't want anyone else!" I protest.

"Why not?! What makes me so special?"

"I guess… I feel we are similar in some way… though you can be pretty mean sometimes, which I don't quite understand."

"I'm just honest. You think your friends are merry and considerate all the time? Try endangering their position and you'll see what they really are. I don't fake it, takes too much effort and I don't see the point."

"Wouldn't hurt you to be a bit more civil?"

"It would. Just shut up!"

"Alright." I accept.

"What else?" She prods again.

"Ok, let me see…" I pause to think. I sense she asked me just to hear something good about herself. I imagine she hadn't heard any praise in a while. "I know… You're very thoughtful and interesting. I guess I knew from the start that there's a lot more under the surface, but you're even smarter then I could imagine."

"Of course." She agrees.

"And I meant what I said before, you're beautiful." I say caressing her pale cheek.

"Well, thanks." She says moving away my hand. "I gotta go." She puts on her school shirt over those skinny ribs.

I put on my jeans and sweater as well and go sit on the step in the middle of the room where she dropped her bag. Her bag conveniently fell open and I get a peek inside.

Pansy lights up a smoke by the window. "Want one?" She offers me one of her handmade herbal rolls.

"No." I respond focused more on how to peek inside her bag.

She's got her back turned, and I'm way too curious to pass this opportunity. I see a couple of books and notebooks inside. I'm sure they're not like mine, but crisp and scarce with side-notes. This gives me the idea to keep the conversation going while I rummage trough her bag.

"Are you getting ready for the N.E.W.T.s?" I ask.

"Fucking school! Please don't mention those again…" She blows out a smoke looking out on the scenery. "Those daily distractions… so boring."

"I wouldn't call school a distraction." I argue, digging deeper. She won't notice me if I keep her talking.

"That's exactly what I'd call it. They don't teach you to think, they teach you to obey. That's the basic idea. Every deception is just to complete that domestication process."

"Yea Pansy, but what would there be otherwise? Chaos? You're being way too exclusive." I say happening upon a strange little notebook.

I flip it open and notice a skull drawn in the corner of the page. Girls usually draw hearts or flowers but this doesn't surprise me at all.

Pansy goes on ranting about school, and I just respond affirmatively to keep her talking while hastily reading the text scribbled above the drawing. It reads:

_Chosen to carry this illusion,_

_A soldier of the restitution,_

_Of balance in the absence of conclusion,_

_But I hide,_

_By day and night and out of sight,_

_That I might be free,_

_In truth and reverie,_

_…_

I don't get to the end before she notices me.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm sorry. I was just looking at your drawings. They're really good."

"I know!" She says snatching the black notebook out of my hand and stuffing it back in her bag. "Just don't touch my stuff ever again!"

"Sorry."

"And stop apologising all the time! Makes you sound so fucking pathetic!"

I remain quiet, bowing my head down. She kinda turned mean, but I do blame myself for being too curious. I did invade her privacy after all.

"It's alright, just don't do it again." She repeats calmly, disarming the tension. "Let's head back to the stinking school." She yawns stretching out, and her shirt pulls up revealing her tiny waistline.

"You're way too skinny." I notice.

"So?"

"I just don't think it's healthy, that's all."

"I'll get fat if you'll be my housewife and cook for me." She grabs hold of my buttock.

"No way!" I laugh shoving her off. I play along though she once again mocked the idea of us staying together after school. "If anyone's cooking, it's gonna be you." I retort, squeezing her ass back.

"Not to argue, the house elves will do it." She teases, knowing how I feel about that.

We joke around till we reach the junction point where we usually split ways.

"Till tomorrow than?" I ask.

"Nope, can't tomorrow. Busy. I'll let you know, ok?"

"Alright." I give her a quick kiss on to cheek just to take another whiff of her scent which will only make the wait less bearable.

I can't get her poem out of my head. What did she mean by it? I wish I could just ask her? I have a feeling she's hiding something from me, and possibly sinister.

I know what Harry and Ron would say, she's a death eater from a family of death eaters, but I just can't imagine a person so thoughtful would be involved in something so incredibly stupid and evil like Voldemort's army.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 2 - Hermione's POV**

One week passed and still I didn't hear a word from Pansy, in fact I haven't even seen her around the school, and there was really no one I could ask why without braking "the rule".

I kept my hope up, but when two weeks passed it became impossible to do that. I chewed my nails and fingers to the bone.

In my despair I went to ask Draco and Milicent about Pansy's whereabouts. They were both rude but I genuinely believed they didn't know where she was.

Of course I disguised the question, as if Pansy took one of my potion supplies and I had to get it back. Technically I didn't break any rule, but it was time to do so. I couldn't stand not knowing where she is any longer. One evening I put on my nice sweater and decided to go right up to the headmaster's office. I decided I'll ask anyone till I get the answer, even Snape if I have to.

I stopped on the bottom of the staircase and sat down not far from the portrait of fat lady. It was empty so I could be alone and think. Maybe I'm just being a fool. Maybe she changed schools just like that, and maybe… it meant nothing to her that I loved her, after all she considers the notion to be a joke.

I fought off the bitter sensation that came over me and stood up. Whatever the case I had to march up there and find out. I just couldn't torture myself any longer.

And just as I stood up, I heard someone calling my name from below.

"Hermione! Hermione!" As the voice got closer I couldn't possibly believe it was really Pansy. But it was her, rushing up the staircase towards me.

I rushed down the stairs at a dangerously fast pace to meet her.

Visibly tired and out of breath, she hugged me repeating my name once more in a glad and serene tone. "Hermione…"

I recognised this as very unusual. She never called me by name. I asked at once. "What's wrong?"

"So many things… but first I have to say how glad I am to see you. I never imagined a day could seem so long…" She said hugging me again.

I had so many questions, but I guess I had to ask the most obvious one first. "Where were you?"

She looked around nervously. "There is no time to tell you the whole story…"

When I backed away a bit, I noticed she was wearing all black, just like the death eaters do. "Why are you… are those death eater robes?" I asked looking her in the eyes as my heart started beating.

"Ok, listen…" She said looking away in shame, but then she faced me grabbing hold of my hands. "You have to believe me, I never wanted to join them, but I knew it meant death to say no. So I planed an escape. When my father went missing I knew I had to get far away, even if there was a high possibility they'd catch me, I'd rather die as a traitor than a soldier fighting for their cause. But than I got word of this big plan, so I figured I'd stick around to see what it was. And when I saw it…"

"What?!"

"I just couldn't leave you behind. They're going to attack Hogwarts tonight!"

"But how? That's impossible?!" I protest shaking my head in disbelief, but soon realize she wouldn't be making this up. "We gotta tell Harry and Ron, and tell everyone to evacuate!"

"There's no time! They are literally… probably already inside the castle."

"What if we hide?"

"Wouldn't work, you know about marauder's map?"

"Yes." I confirm.

"They got like a dozen of those."

"Damn… We'll fight than! Come!" I grab Pansy's hand and lead her up to the Gryffindor tower. "We must tell Harry, he'll organise Dumbledore's army, and others will join as well. There's gotta be a lot more of us here then there are them."

"True, but these are mostly kids, versus trained and merciless killers."

"It'll be fine, trust me." I turn back to give her a reassuring glance as we rush up the stairs to the portrait of fat lady.

"Whatever you say Hermione." She responds with a fearful smile.

I can't help but feel overjoyed by the fact that she returned, even in this most perilous situation.

However when we reached the fat lady portrait, two death eaters appeared out of nowhere, they just apparated on the spot.

"Fuck! They're here!" I yelled turning around with Pansy and rushing back down as the two death eaters looked around and gained their senses.

They chased us down and trough the hallways firing off hexes as they ran after us. We were lucky so far until we reached a dead end. Pansy still had her death eater mask in her pocket, so she pulled it out and took my hand. "Listen we have to fight them. Stay behind the wall till I yell "now". We'll have the element of surprise."

I didn't quite get her plan but the footsteps where already here and she stepped out into the open. "Hey it's me." Pansy said pulling down her mask as I waited in the cover with my wand drawn.

"Oh, it's Pansy. Did you see some Hogwarts girls run trough here?" I heard the younger man's voice ask, but then the older death eater with a coarse voice yelled. "You idiot! That is her!"

He fired off a hex that only grazed Pansy, but still knocked her down on the floor. I stepped out of the cover and started hexing at the two. To burn, maim and paralyze. I threw anything I could think of with such incredible speed that they couldn't keep up.

Once my blind rage passed I saw one of the death eaters down on the floor and unresponsive, probably paralyzed by one of my hexes. The other one wasn't in sight.

"Show yourself coward!" I yelled, glancing back at Pansy who was still on the floor and gazed up at me with awe.

"Not bad for a kid." I heard that same coarse and merciless voice from before. "But you're no match for me! I'll get you bitch! You and your traitor friend!" He stepped out and started throwing at us a barrage of fire hexes that I barely deflected. I managed to shield myself and Pansy enough so that we could reach our cover behind the wall.

"See now! You're no match for me!" The death eater gloated. "And you Pansy! Not only a traitor but absolutely fucking useless without your mudblood friend!"

"He knows you?" I asked Pansy whispering.

She frowned looking down on the ground. "I think I know who it is."

"I didn't expect much better from you to be honest." The death eater continued his demoralizing slander. "Your father was a traitor and a swine. No wonder his daughter is just as useless."

Pansy kept looking at the floor as her breathing got faster and air kept audibly fuming out her nostrils. I heard her teeth grit before she yelled out. "Did you kill him?!" Her voice angrily echoed throughout the corridor.

There was an unusually long pause that I found extremely suspicious. "Pansy?" I whispered grabbing at her sleeve, trying to get her attention and some explanation of what was going on. She didn't even hear me. She was clenching her fist and awaiting that response.

And than it came. "Yes, I killed him." Said the death eater, and without a pause Pansy stepped out from the cover.

As soon as she did, the death eater, who must have been positioned and waiting her, fired off a vicious ice shard.

All I saw was an icy shrapnel run trough Pansy and hit the back wall shattering in thousand pieces. But it did the job of going trough her chest. She fell on her knees.

I screamed in horror, chilling my own blood. "Pansy!" I yelled as I pulled her back into the cover.

"Serves you right!" I heard the cruel voice say add. "And by the way, I didn't kill your father, but I wish that I had." He said before running off in the other direction.

Anger suddenly overwhelmed me and I grabbed my wand, almost snapping it from the rage I felt at that moment. Before I could jump up and chase after him I felt a hand on mine stop me.

Pansy was struggling to breathe and only managed to look up at me, which was more that enough for me to forget about whatever demon caused this to happen and turn all of my attention to her.

The death eater was far by now. I guess he hadn't much interest in finishing me off, he probably figured one of his buddies will get me.

As death eaters swarmed the place, screams and sounds of battle could be heard all throughout the castle. It was as if the world burned, and we were in this quiet little corner. It wouldn't be so bad if only Pansy wasn't so hurt.

I took a look at her more closely now. The wound looked so severe that I just didn't know what to do. Moving her in such a state wasn't an option, so my first thought was to get help. A Hogwarts nurse Madam Pomfrey, or anyone skilled enough to help her.

"Just stay here, I'll get help." I whispered to her as tears collected in my eyes. I know I had to do something and fast if I was to save her. I didn't care what it took, even if my own life was required.

Before I managed to tear myself away from her I felt a hand on mine again. "Don't leave… I don't want to die alone." Pansy managed.

"Don't be silly, you're not gonna die!" I yelled at her with tears overflowing. "I'll get you help, just…"

"No." She said with last of her strength as blood came pouring out of her mouth. "I…" She choked up.

By now I knew she was right and I started weeping like never before.

"I wanted to tell you… that… ou..."

I tried to understand her words, but it was hard as she was choking on blood. She coughed up a big puddle on the stone floor as I propped her against the wall and held her from collapsing.

"I said… I love you." She managed before passing out.

She was no longer here, I realized. Her body was unusually still, flawless, but only a skin she shed, like a snake, and hopefully stepped into a new life, one that's hopefully a bit more just. But I could only guess where she could be… where I will be when death eaters find me here.

One thing I was certain, I didn't want to keep living here with her gone and those maniacs running the world. So I remained on the spot holding her body tight.

As I heard the heavy footsteps approach and death eaters appear form the darkness I knew I'd be gone soon.

With tears in my eyes I smiled, knowing I'd leave this world that had no longer my greatest treasure.


End file.
